you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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