Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
