Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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