Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
