i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
