Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
