guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
