is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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