Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
