Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
