I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
