remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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