Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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