I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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