my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
