i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
