my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
