she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
