All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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