not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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