she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
