white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
