he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
