We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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