There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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