Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
