Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
