Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
