This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
