Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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