O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
