I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
