Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
