I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
