i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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