What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
