her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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