my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
