Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
vagina is talking i cant
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
