is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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