I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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