I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
