someone get that fucking seahorse.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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