Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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