Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
