In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
