You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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