I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
