Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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