he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's blow job season.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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